A friend just lost someone close to her, a family member perhaps, and you are thinking of how you can best express your sympathy. The answer is to write a sympathy card. It is personal, short, and sweet. It can even be a better choice over a set of flowers because with sympathy cards or funeral cards, your friend can keep it.

Writing sympathy cards messages is often considered an etiquette, something you should automatically do when someone you know has just experienced a loss. However, it is not enough to just express your condolences. The message that you will write in the card must be sincerely felt by the receiver, to make it memorable and in some instances, to even help alleviate the pain your friend is feeling that very moment.

Here are a few simple tips to help you write a sympathy card that is truly worth reading.

1. Carefully choose the paper or the card.

You can buy a commercially made sympathy card and just write beside its already printed messages, but the best and most sincere type would be a home-made card. For the cover design, you can simply print out an image from your computer. Just choose the most appropriate photo.

Choose a paper or a card that is not acidic so it will last longer without quickly turning yellow as ordinary paper would do. The paper’s packaging normally states whether it is non-acidic and in case it does not says so, just ask the store supervisor or the merchandiser.

2. Use a blue or black ink.

It is more formal to write with a black ink, although blue is good second option. You certainly should not use other colors like green, purple or anything else because it will make the card less solemn or sincere.

3. Address the card to the deceased’s closest relative.

It can be the spouse, sibling or the eldest son or daughter. It is the most accepted way to address a condolence letter. But if you want to specifically address it to your friend, even if she is not the closest relative, you can still do the same.

4. Write with all your heart.

If you personally know the deceased, then write about the happiest moments you both have shared. You can write how that person was able to change your life or to make a great contribution to your life. Needless to say, everything that you will write must be positive and personal in nature.

5. Be brief and concise.

Do fill all the space in the card. Make your message short but meaningful so as to have a lasting impression on the reader. You can also quote a biblical passage or verse or an inspirational quotation. These quotations, when chosen correctly, can help the person accept her loss.

These are the important things that you should remember when you write a sympathy card. You can further add a personal touch by adding a photograph of you and the deceased smiling and having a good time. These personal attention to details will make your sympathy card sincere and more effective in sending out your message of condolences.